


About buttplugs and lovestories

by prefertheconsultingdetective



Category: The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Adult Shop AU, Alternate Universe, Graham saves the day, M/M, Richard is a sweetheart, and lee is too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-03-26 06:20:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,380
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3840304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prefertheconsultingdetective/pseuds/prefertheconsultingdetective
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Lee works in a adult shop, Richard is stupidly in love with him and Aidan is revolutionizing the dating game. Until he meets Dean. AU, if that wasn't already clear.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. frisky business

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ineedthislikeaholeinthehead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ineedthislikeaholeinthehead/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Fifty Shades of Erik](https://archiveofourown.org/works/790291) by [Yaegaki](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yaegaki/pseuds/Yaegaki). 



> This fic is inspired by the perfect ‘50 Shades of Eric’ Fic which I love to pieces. Go read it if you’re an Cherik shipper, go read it if you’re not because it’s AU and awesome and makes you "aww" extremely loud. This is my go at ‘imagine A works in an adult shop and B is terribly besotted with him’, because you know – I can totally imagine that happening to Richard and Lee. 
> 
> The title was actually the working title but i really like it and that's why it stayed. 
> 
> This is unbeta-ed and probably spiked with terrible mistakes, because it's nearly two in the morning and i wrote half of it just now and my brain feels like its already half asleep. But I really did want to upload it already. It's not finished there's a second chapter yet to come. 
> 
> Also – I’d like to dedicate this to ineedthislikeaholeinmyheart, because you’re my favourite in the fandom, no one’s stories give me so much comfort as yours and I just want to say thank you for that. I hope you don’t mind AU’s and well, Lee selling dildos and buttplugs.
> 
> Disclaimer: sadly I own neither Richard nor Lee, let alone all the others. This is pure fantasy and is just written for my own enjoyment. If this story is about you you better close that tab quickly because you might find this weird :P
> 
>  
> 
> I got the name of the shop from here: http://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/ypfxf/my_friend_is_opening_an_adult_novelty_store_what/ (also the ‘friend’ is a woman so in my head it was Lee asking for Evie :P)  
> And btw I’ve never been into an adult shop :D so this is all fantasy (and a lot of enthusiastic google-ing too ;) Hope I didn’t write too much bullshit about it.  
> Somehow I got surprisingly creative with this and had a lot of fun with google-ing the craziest sex toys so feel free to check out that mysterious electric condom that apparently really exists.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr under prefertheconsultingdetective :)

It is practically Aidan’s fault. Aidan and his new found dating wisdom.

“I swear Richard,” he tells him enthusiastically over their weekly coffee meeting. “If you have sex straight away it solves so much.” and he sets down his cup to underline his words of wisdom with sweeping gestures.

Richard sighs, he has heard various versions of that sentence in the last few weeks, because since Aidan has discovered his new knowledge and therefor the – quote; revolution of the dating game – he doesn’t really talk about anything else anymore.

“I mean, look at me, I thought Rob was perfect, good looking, polite, smart and sometimes even funny.” Aidan ruffles his hand through his hair, sighs and picks up his coffee again. “It could have been so good. Perfect even.” Another pause and now he gives Richard a meaningful look. “But – ”

“Yes, Yes, I know, _but_ the sex was horrible.” Richard cuts in because Aidan has told him often enough – and detailed enough – about it.

 

A few weeks ago Aidan had met Rob and they had been dating for some time and Aidan had been really happy. Richard didn’t have liked him particularly much, but he was a good friend and didn’t interfere in somebody else’s business and Aidan had only told stuff that didn’t made him worry too much about it.

About the way Rob treated him, the places he took him to, all the romantic stuff that was suddenly happening in his life. And that they wanted to wait with the sex.

Not that Richard had asked or something. He is the last person to ask about intimate details, but unfortunately Aidan is the last person to hold back those. He practically shouts it from the rooftops to everyone who likes to know – and everyone who doesn’t.

After 3 weeks of candlelight dinners and romantic strolls through all the parks the city has to offer they had wanted to get serious (and Aidan had texted Richard nearly every ten minutes that day – what should I wear? Is a Jockstrap too much? Or no pants at all?) and Richard had dreaded the next day where they would meet for coffee and he had expected dirty secrets and revelations about Rob’s body (or his cock – there was nothing Richard wouldn’t expect with Aidan).

Instead he had been greeted by a wild mob of black curls hanging low over the table, Aidan apparently drowning himself in his coffee. Richard had thought of sleepless nights because of great sex (not that he could really remember how that felt, but there was the distant idea in the back of his mind that some people do in fact have amazing sex – whereas he has no sex at all), but when Aidan lifted his head it was obvious that something else entirely had happened.

And well, that’s what started this new madness.

 

Because now Aidan is determined to always have sex at the first date – “at least a handjob” – to exclude the possibility of “having the worst sex ever with the person you spend money on for weeks”.

To Richard’s regret Aidan doesn’t really talk about anything else at the moment and also wants to convince everyone to join him in revolutionize the dating system. Everyone of their co-workers is already terribly annoyed (including Graham who’s usually very patient and Martin who isn’t patient at all and has told Aidan kindly to “piss off and leave me the buggering hell alone and I’m already married and we’re having fantastic sex, thank you very much and now shut the fuck up”) but Richard is Richard and he’s never been good with discouraging people about things they’re so obviously passionate about.

Even though he feels like he’s going to explode if he’s ever hearing another word about Rob’s cock sucking method that was actually more like “eating me whole, goddamn Richard, I was never so afraid for my cock”.

But Richard is trapped in their weekly dates anyway because he’s too polite for his own good.

 

“I hope you’re at least doing it safe?,” he says before Aidan has the chance to dive deep into one of his livid speeches about efficiency and practicality.

He earns a dark look in response. “God Richard, sometimes I forget how grumpy and old you already are” and before Richard can be offended or wonder if that implies an answer that he approves, Aidan seems so remember something.

“Ahh, I nearly forgot.” He stands up and throws a banknote and a dashing smile at the waitress, grabs Richard by the arm and drags him outside the coffee shop.

“I actually have to get a refill of condoms and the shop at the corner has these crazy watermelon ones and Jim from IT is really hot and asked me out and I though why should I even waste time for a date when he has this nice office with a view.” Aidan babbles while they walk down the street and before Richard knows they’re standing in front of “Evie’s frisky business” and he blinks once, twice and swallows dryly and even opens his mouth, but then he’s already inside, Aidan’s hand still on his arm, sweeping him along vigorously.

The shop is big and cramped. Richard doesn’t know if that’s usual, because – being 41 or not – he’s never been into a porn shop before. But apparently it’s not only a porn shop.

Because he faces various leather things he cannot identify (and doesn’t really want to), whiplashes and thick ropes. In another corner he sees a number of dildos and gigantic vibrators that seem more frightening that arousing.

Aidan lets go of his arm and takes three steps to one of the shelves that has – oh, buttplugs (Richard knows because one of his boyfriends did like them and they experimented with it and yes, Richard actually liked it, too, but after the break up he had been too afraid to seek out a shop that sells some or to buy it in the internet, because he didn’t feel comfortable with giving his address to a webpage that also sells an electric condom).

Aidan grabs one of the plugs and eyes it curiously. Richard groans mentally and shoves his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket.

At least he hopes that Aidan won’t ask him for his opinion.

Richard lets his gaze wander, he isn’t comfortable with staring at one obscene object for too long and tries to look absolutely unbothered by the display of frightening items.

On the other end of the room is the cash desk and next to it opens a door and out of it comes – probably one of the hottest guys Richard has ever seen.

He has brown hair that is slightly too long and falls him messily in the eyes and he is tall and it seems like he’s come to talk to them because he walks directly in their direction and now he smiles and Richard is a little concerned of getting a heart attack, because really, that’s not only a hot man anymore, that is a bloody beautiful one.

“Hi Aidan,” the man says and for a moment Richard is afraid that this actually Jim from IT, but then he remembers that he actually knows Jim from IT because it’s his co-worker and he has the office next to Richard and what would he do in a porn shop anyway? Let alone in the backroom.

Maybe he should give Aidan’s new methods a try, because just seeing a nice guy can’t affect him so much that all his brain cells decide to destroy themselves instantly. He’s 41 for god’s sake.

 

Aidan turns to the guy and beams. And even if it’s not Jim from IT Richard wonders if Aidan has already had sex with him or plans to (because, really, there’s no one safe at the moment, but still, he hopes that neither is true). “Hey Lee, good to see you.” He says.

“Good to see you, too. How longs has it been? Two days?” Lee laughs and Richard nearly faints because – oh gosh, that voice is deep and the laugh is rumbling and it goes all straight to his cock (and now he really feels like a teenager again). “Is that the reason you need so much condoms?” Lee adds and then he turns his head and looks at Richard and he’s still smiling and his eyes are twinkling.

But then Richard actually gets what he’s said. “Me? Oh no no no.” He laughs awkwardly, because the thought of him and Aidan – that’s the weirdest thing ever. “Definitely not.” He shakes his head and waves his hands to underline the statement.

Aidan – the bastard – laughs “Uhh, Richard, you don’t know what you’re missing.” He winks, but then looks back at the plug in his hand. “No, but seriously, could you tell me something about these?”

Lee smiles one last time at Richard and then steps closer to Aidan and starts the most detailed speech about analplugs Richard has ever heard (not that he has heard many). Richard takes a few steps away and tries not to listen too closely and somehow he manages to ignore the meaning of Lee’s words so that he can only enjoy the grumble of his voice. And it’s pathetic. It really is.

 

After nearly ten minutes Aidan has finally decided what to buy, grabs a big pack condoms and lube too and pays. Richard is awkwardly hovering at the door and tries not to stare, but he really wonders how someone can be so cool and casual about selling this kind of things.

“Thanks mate” Aidan says in the end and Lee smiles and answers “Sure, see you next week”. And that is such a weird thing to say in a porn shop, but with Aidan’s new habits it’s also true and Richard laughs, surprisingly loud, despite himself.

Lee looks up and he’s still smiling, brightly and warm directly at Richard and it makes him swallow thickly, but somehow he manages to smile back without being completely humiliated. The buzz in his stomach feels strangely great.

“Goodbye, to you too, not-the-reason-man”.

 

Having the office right next to Jim from IT turns out to be terrible this afternoon, because right after they come back from their lunch break Aidan doesn’t even go back to his own desk and Richard witnesses with his own ears that buying a lot of condoms is apparently very necessary.

After nearly one hour of “God yes, give it to me harder” and “you like that don’t you, you little slut?” Richard gives up on trying to get any work done and grabs his coat. When he closes his door and hears “fuck me, yes yes yes like that, fuck yes” he briefly wonders how they can physically take that, but well – maybe he is really getting old now.

He grabs some takeaway at the way home and opens a bottle of wine, he is not usually getting sentimental over alcohol but somehow his thoughts always come back to the dating game and that sweet guy from today. It’s not necessarily a correlated line of thought.

Of course, Richard can admit to himself that it’s been quite some time that he really noticed someone in the way he did notice Lee today. He always tells himself that he is too busy with work anyway to date anyone properly, but if he is honest it is more that he is a bit scared of letting anyone in again.

Things with Anna ended messily. Which hasn’t even been anyone’s fault specifically, but just the way things turned out in the end. Thinking of her had hurt so much for such a long time that he has just forbid himself to do so. And now he remembers her smile, the way her body warmed the sheets next to him and how it felt to hold someone’s hand and suddenly there’s nothing but fond memories, the icy grip of rejection and hurt feelings finally letting go of his heart. It feels almost as good as Lee smiling at him.

 

The next week Richard notices that his usual way to work leads him to _frisky business_ and when he sees the blinking ads in the window he suddenly gets so of afraid of seeing Lee again that he abruptly turns on his heels and chooses another route that takes twice as long.

He ends up being 20 minutes late and finds Aidan sitting in his office, spinning behind his desk in his rolling chair so rapidly that Richard is afraid of getting sick just from watching.

“What are you doing here?” he asks briskly. “Shouldn’t you be next door, asking him out for the next date?” He rises one eyebrow. “Sounded like the first one was successful.”

Aidan stops himself by grabbing Richard’s desk, he closes his eyes and takes two deep breaths and looks a little green around the nose (and Richard doesn’t think “I could have told you that before”, no he doesn’t, because that would really make him old) and then smiles. “Uhu. That was pretty good actually.” He opens his eyes again and the smile falters. “But he’s an arse and told me – after we fucked – that he actually has a girlfriend and does not intend to break up with her.” Aidan shakes his head.

Richard nods unimpressed. He’s not the one who thinks it is a good idea to have sex with someone without talking about at least the basic stuff. “At the very last  you saved time” he says dryly and waves his hand. “Now get outta here.”

“Yes Yes, you old git.” When Aidan walks to the door he seems a bit wary on his legs and Richard really hopes it’s because of his chair escapades. At the door he stops and turns again. “But don’t think we’re not going to talk about you and pornshop-Lee.”

Richard’s _fuck off_ is probably loud enough to be heard next door.

 

He avoids both Aidan _and_ the _frisky business_ street for the next two weeks and while the latter is just annoying, because it makes him get up 15 minutes earlier every day, the former turns out to be unbelievable hard. Aidan seems to be everywhere and after two days of hiding behind walls or even plants, Richard spends his breaks in his office and doesn’t linger in the building after work to chat to Martin or Graham.

Unfortunately that doesn’t mean he stops thinking about Lee. Strangely it even seems like his thoughts wander more often to Lee when he’s been running all day from Aidan.

One night he actually dreams about him and the things he sells and when he wakes up he is rock hard. He’s so pissed with himself that he practically screams at poor secretary Adam.

“Oh for God’s sake Richard,” Somehow Graham manages to always turn up in the wrong moments and now he stares at Richard intensely and Richard might be a tiny bit afraid, because if there are rules in the company they are “don’t piss of Graham” and “especially don’t piss of Graham with bashing Adam, because if he’s furious otherwise, he’s a fucking beast when it’s about Adam”.

He comes two steps closer to Richard and Richard expects everything and he ducks his head – just a little bit – but then Graham slides his arm around his back and clasps him roughly on the should. “I’d say we are going for a pint tonight, alright?” and it is surprising, but surprisingly good.

And Richard gives in. “I guess so.”

 

“So what is it?”

They are sitting in a dark corner in their usual pub and Graham did let Richard drink at least half of his beer before asking. And maybe it’s because he didn’t have any dinner before or maybe it’s because he wants to talk about it more than he realized, but suddenly Richard blurts out;

“You know, there’s that guy and he’s really kinda hot but he’s also off hands because he’s selling porn and I don’t even know if he’s gay.” And he stares into the foam of his drink as if he was talking to it, because saying it out loud sounds really fucking weird.

Graham says nothing and out of the corner of his eye Richard sees how he picks up his drink and he sighs because that’s exactly the reason why he also _didn’t_ want to talk about it, but then Graham puts down his glass again and says: “And where’s the problem there?” and now Richard _has_ to look up.

“Didn’t you hear me?”

“No, no, I heard you quite well but I still don’t really get why there’s a problem.” Graham shrugs. “You say he’s hot, that’s great. You say he sells porn, that’s even more great, because that means he’s probably seen a lot and is open to experiments, also it could always be worse, he could be the one making the porn.” He lifts his eyebrows pointedly. “So why don’t you just find out if he’s gay?”

“You can’t just go and ask someone if he’s gay.” Richard exclaims scandalized.

“God Richard” Graham says and starts to laugh.

And that is really not how Richard expected this to go. He feels a bit insulted and looks away from Grahams mocking eyes, lets his eyes wander over the chatting people in the bar and well, he must be very lucky, because there, in the other corner of the room, is Lee and next to him is a dark haired woman. And their arms are linked together.

“No asking out needed, apparently he’s not.”


	2. Theoretically

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richard meets Lee again. He also has a little talk with Evie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all; thank you very much for your kind feedback and all the hits and kudos, that’s so much appreciated, now back to awkward Richard and frisky Lee :P  
> I wanted this to have only 1 chapter, then i decided that 2 would be ok, too and now i'm thinking of 3, whatever. Enjoy!

The next week Richard tries to go for complete denial and ignorance concerning Graham, but in making this plan he hadn’t actually _thought_ about Graham.  So when he comes in on Tuesday morning, it’s Graham sitting on his chair and for one moment Richard wonders what he has done wrong, that it is always him and why everyone always thinks it is okay to come and sit in his office as if it isn’t a place of privacy that should maybe stay undisturbed. He sighs heavily. They would never ever do this with Martin and Martin is tiny and he even his beard is not half as impressing as Richard’s, so why does everyone think they can do this with him?!

“Well hello Richard, good to see you,” Graham says and smiles broadly and as if everything is love, peace and harmony.

“What do you want?” Richard answers darkly and tries his most dangerous looking scowl. “Because some people here are actually trying to work, you know.”

“Richard, you’re worse than every teenage girl. Come sit with me.” Graham looks sincere now and earnest and he is Graham and has those eyes that can make every sentence seem like a command. And Richard wouldn’t dare to fight that, not even in this mood.

“I really think you have to talk about it.” Graham starts after one minute of silence, because just because Richard sat down without making a fuzz that doesn’t mean he will make it easy for Graham doing his lay analysis.

He just shrugs.

“Really, Richard. Why aren’t you just telling me what the fuck happened last Friday? For all I thought we were having a drink and you were starting to open up a bit and suddenly you are talking puzzles again and then you just left. Without a real explanation.”

The thing is – Richard himself doesn’t even know what has really happened. It had felt good to tell Graham about Lee, but at the same time it had scared him – in his head Lee was just the hot guy from the shop, but actually talking about him made him his very real crush. The first one in _years_.

Richard sighs and rubs his hand over his face.

“Remember that group in the corner, with the two dark haired women and two guys? The tall one was him. When I noticed him he had his arm around her and they were all laughing a lot, seemed like a great double date or something. I guess I just freaked out, was a bit disappointed to see him with a woman.”

Graham says nothing. Instead he frowns and makes his very impressive “don’t fuck with me, I’m Scottish” face. Or at least that’s what Richard calls it.

Richard waits. It’s nerve wrecking, because it’s also the “you’re a complete and utter idiot and I know it, but I won’t tell you because I want you to get it yourself and pull your shit together”-face. It works especially well with the twenty something trainees.

And grown up men that work here for nearly 8 years, apparently.

“What? You want me to talk, but when I do you say nothing, you just look at me disapprovingly. So please, if you have nothing to say just go, I’m really not in the mood for patronizing.” Richard stands up and waves his hand. “And get off my desk, I have work to do.”

And maybe he can be impressive, too, because Graham says nothing, he just lifts his eyebrows, gets up and actually leaves. But of course he destroys it all with saying slowly “Oh Richard” when he gets out of the door as if he knows so much better.

 

After nearly one week of ignoring Graham and now 3 weeks of ignoring Aidan Richard decides it’s enough of solitude and asks Aidan for their regular coffee meeting. Still, he asks nicely not to talk about sex too much. Surprisingly Aidan agrees.

For at least 20 minutes.

Then he brings it up again.

But maybe it is Richard’s own fault, because after chatting about work and the way Martin’s beard is really showing how old he is (which Richard’s does not, by the way) he asks if there’s anything new. Which gets Aidan talking.

“You know, I met this guy” Aidan begins.

“Oh let me guess, did you have sex?” Richard interjects dryly.

Aidan, apparently not noticing the undertone, shakes his head. “No we didn’t.”

“So you didn’t meet him in _that_ way?”

“Well yes, but not really. I’d really love to. Really, because he’s hot and seems like a great guy so I need to know if he’s good in bed. Because all the other only have been hot, but never quite as nice as him.” Aidan says.

“So why don’t you just have sex with him? Change of plan?” Richard wonders. “Because I don’t really get your problem.”

“I would, believe me I would love to have sex with him, because he has this great hair that looks so fluffy and I’d love to touch it or grab it while he – you know,” for a moment he just smiles, then he seems to remember that he was in the middle of elaborating. “I met him this weekend when I was out for dinner with James and his wife and he was there with a group of guys and when I got to the bathroom I definitely heard them talking about my arse, so I just went over and asked him out.”

Considering his state of mind Richard briefly wonders if Aidan actually dared and asked the guy out to fuck him in the restroom or something.

“I hope you weren’t to blunt.” He says cautiously.

“Of course not, Richard, I told him that he looked great and that I liked his arse, too and if he wouldn’t mind I’d love to see it even closer, if you know what I mean.” Aidan wiggles his eyebrows and smiles broadly.

“Exactly what I meant.”

“Please, what would you have done? You don’t even had the balls to talk to Lee and don’t fool me, we both know you thought he was hot, so please don’t try and give me advice on how to hit on people.”

Richard shrugs. “Well you know, not everyone likes to get told that you want to have sex with them, some people would care for dinner first.”

“I just told you, I met him in a restaurant, he just had dinner.” Aidan insists.

“I can’t believe you for real.” Richard just groans.

 

After they have paid for their coffee (and stopped discussing dating advice) Richard wants to go back to the office , but Aidan drags him along and again they’re in front of _Frisky Business_ and Richard thinks of waiting outside, but that would be weird, too, so he just follows along, accepting his fate.

This time there’s a dark haired woman putting away toys and Richard is happy (and disappointed at the same time) that apparently Lee isn’t around, but that’s just when the backdoor opens and in he comes. Carrying a big box and the nicest smile.

“Hey Aidan”, he says. “Need another refill?” and then he laughs his sweetly rumbling laugh and turns his head and smiles at Richard again and it is as if the evening in the pub has never happened. Who cares he’s been there with a woman, who cares if they looked like they were close? This is the most beautiful human being Richard has ever seen and he’s not going to spoil it with thinking about him as the hot guy that is unfortunately straight. At least not when he’s standing in front of him.

“And Hi to that good looking stranger again that does not cause all this condom buying, but accompanies you all the same.” He shakes his head, still grinning.

Richard swallows nervously and opens his mouth, but instead Aidan says “That’s just Richard, don’t mind him, he’s the most boring person on earth.” He clasps Richard on the back and before Richard can protest or even try to save his dignity, he lays a hand on Lee’s back and shoves him away, to the back of the room. “What do you think? What works better?” and then he dives into the discussion of dating techniques again.

Richard, feeling embarrassed and left alone, turns and takes a few steps to the nearest cupboard and feigns to look interested at the display of leathery wardrobe.

“For Aidan saying that you’re boring you’re seem pretty interested in the fetish stuff.” A female voice suddenly interrupts his thoughts.

Richard lifts his head and looks at a pretty brunette that seems vaguely familiar.

“Aidan has sex twice a day, compared to him almost everyone seems boring.” And with another look at her genuine smile he adds “but no, I’m not really into bondage, just passing the time, really, waiting for Aidan so we can go back to the office.”

“Ahh, so you’re colleagues.” She nods. “Oh god, how terribly rude of me, I’m Evangeline by the way, this is my shop.” She smiles again and offers Richard her elbow because her hands are full of little transparent bags that seem to have balls on a string inside.

“My name’s Richard and I guess I’ll never be a customer,” he shrugs apologetically.

“Oh no worries, I have enough, Aidan only brings in a lot of money with his new life style.” Evangeline puts away the bags and gets a dust cloth out of her back pocket and starts working at the next cupboard. “Always remember to dust off the dildos, they look terribly unattractive with all the fluff.” She advises and Richard nods and thinks that this is really not the kind of advice his mother would give him. Even though she would probably appreciate that someone talks about with him. Whatever.

“So I guess you’re not supporting Aidan’s theory of how to find the perfect partner?” she waves at him with the cloth and Richard makes the mistake of breathing in.

“You mean his always have sex on the first date theory?” He coughs. “No, not really. Even though supporting or not supporting this theory would require me actually dating someone, I can say that even if I theoretically did, no I don’t think you always need to have sex straight away.”

Evangeline grabs a pink monstrosity and starts wiping it. “Well I think it doesn’t really matter. You have to see how it works out, if you’re having a great time and would like to have sex with someone – go for it, if you’d rather wait, that’s fine, too. All these rules and things you absolutely have to do, I think that’s bullshit.”

Richard turns his head and looks at Lee and Aidan talking in the corner and he thinks that there are some people he’d love to have sex with. Even before the first date.

Evangeline, noticing the way he looks at Lee, bumps her elbow in his side. “So, might my hot employee be a reason you’d go from dating theoretically to practically?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback would be lovely!


	3. butterflies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The company is having a picnic and Lee is bringing a beautiful woman.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so sorry this took me so long, your comments and kudos are so much appreciated ♥
> 
> I’d like to say again that this is fiction and I know neither Richard nor Lee. They’re both probably very different than I wrote them and making Richard being this dorky man with not much self-confidence doesn’t mean I want to harm him in any way or that I think of him in that way. I think he’s a gorgeous man, intelligent and (sometimes weirdly) funny. I used to make him a bit cheesy here, because I’m a writer and it worked nicely with the story I wanted to tell. 
> 
> Oh and I know that a voice doesn’t sound like honey, but I think the mind goes mysterious ways when you’re in love, so please forgive me. (I once thought that kissing someone felt like warm milk with honey in the middle of the night)
> 
> There are one or two things left unspoken, but there's a small epilogue coming :) 
> 
> (and you might notice an unknown name for a known person, but I don't feel comfortable anymore with mentioning the name of Richard's nephew :)

On the next Sunday the whole office meets in the park to celebrate the unofficial company party. It’s much more casual than the official one, they’re having a BBQ, cake and lots of drinks.

Richard is sitting on a picnic rug next to Graham who is talking to Ian (who is actually an official and a big shot in the company, but in contrary to CEO Lee he doesn’t mind to socialize with his employees). He radiates both grace and illustriousness with his silk scarf and matching fedora, even while holding a plastic cup of cheap wine and Richard envies him, because he himself feels like a potato, stuffed with the delicious cupcakes Graham’s wife made.

He sips his wine and turns his head to let the sun shine on his face. It’s a nice day, sunny but not too warm, but much nicer than it would be in England at this time of the year. He remembers that he promised Chris that he’d call their parents, they still worry even with him being an adult and having lived in America for years.

A few steps away Aidan sits next to a guy with blond curls that wears a camera around his neck. He briefly wonders if Aidan succeeded in seducing his mysterious dinner acquaintance, but thinks that even if he hasn’t he obviously found a good substitute.

He looks further, watches the group of children that accompanied their parents and tries not to dwell on the little ache in his chest at the thought of the empty flat that awaits him. Maybe he’ll call his nephew too this evening.

 

After a while he gets up to get another beer and maybe another slice of that fantastic pie.

Jed hands him a bottle and Richard shivers at the cold glass and then he turns around to get back to his rug and crashes into a solid wall of – Lee.

Lee, the cashier of the pornshop. Lee with the brown hair and the voice that sounds like honey. Lee whose hands grasp Richard’s shoulders and save him from stumbling any more. He can feel the warmth of his skin and he sees his radiant smile and he realizes that he’s way too far gone for not really knowing this man and only fantasizing about him in the pitch black of the night.

“Careful there, Richard.” He wrinkles his forehead and narrows his eyes. “I mean, you are Richard aren’t you? That guy that always accompanies Aidan in his mission of buying all our condoms and never gets anything for himself?” he laughs and Richard’s heart melts and his knees get weak and he’s afraid he’s going to get a heart attack. Even though that would be a nice way of dying – against the chest of the man of his dreams.

He huffs out an awkward laugh. “Uhh, yeah. ‘M Richard.” He takes a step back, which unfortunately makes Lee take away his hands. “And you are?” He pretends that he has to think for a moment. “Oh yes, you’re the guy that works in the – uhm, shop.”

“Yeah, I’m Lee.” Lee’s all smiles again and Richard tentatively smiles back at him. He already sees them riding into sunset.

Until a manicured hand appears and takes Lee’s and on the hand hangs a beautiful dark brunette woman that smiles openly. Richard is sure his face resembles the card houses he tried to build with his brother when he was 8.  It’s the same woman he saw next to Lee in the pub.

“Don’t you want to introduce me?” she asks and Richard wants to hate her, but her smile is so genuine and it’s a tragedy really.

“My mistake, sorry. This is Richard, the mysterious friend of one of our customers. And this is Anna, my better half or the menace of my life.” He laughs and Anna hits his arm playfully, but she’s laughing too and they’re sugary sweet in the most rom-com-esque way.

Richard contemplates drowning himself in his beer.

“Ohh Richard,” Anna says as if she’s waited for this moment to come. “It’s so nice to meet you.” She adds and looks at Lee. Oh great, apparently he’s been the victim of pornshop gossip.

“Oh yes, sure, nice to meet you, too.” He tries half-heartedly.

Anna smiles at him for a moment, Richard steps from one foot to another and takes a sip from his beer. Then Lee coughs.

“Oh yeah, I’ll go look for the kiddo.” Anna says quickly, then she stretches and gives Lee a quick peck on his cheek, one last smile at Richard and she is gone.

Lee smiles and rubs his cheek and he looks a bit uncomfortable. Of course, who wouldn’t be - in this situation.

“So, how long have you been married?” he asks into the silence that’s even more prominent because of all the noise around them – the chatter of the people, the kids are hollering and laughing and even the birds seem to be extremely loud today.   
He tries to smile too and to look interested and friendly. He wonders why he’s never seen a ring in the shop. But maybe that’s bad for selling sex toys, who knows. Might be the shop’s concept is for all employees to look good and available. Which would explain Evangeline talking about Lee as if he is a toy, too.

But Lee’s smile falters and Richard wonders if he’s been too forward, too indiscreet.

“I mean, sorry, it’s not my business and if you don’t want to –“ but then Lee’s expression cracks and he laughs, loud and rumbling.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry, but married – “ he giggles. “Anna and I, married, oh god, the thought is so weird.” He catches his breath. “Sorry, you must think I’m crazy. Obviously she’s wonderful and really pretty, but I’m just,” he looks at Richard for a moment and his gaze falls to his mouth. “I’m gay, so no, we’re not married at all. Even though some people say our relationship is worse than being married for 20 years.” He grins.

And Richard grins back brightly. They’re not married. Lee is gay. And Anna is only a friend. A beautiful, platonic friend.

It feels as if the sun has come up after a lifetime of clouds. He lifts his beer. “You want one?”

Lee grins and nods. “Sure.”

 

They end up sitting on their rug and talking.

Lee is fun to talk to. He has interesting stories to tell and they share more than one interest. But he also listens closely and he nods at the appropriate times. And when Richard tells him about his family in England, about how quickly Anthony grows up and how Richard feels like he’s been only 3 last year he smiles at him, touches his hand and says “I’m sure you miss them.” and it sounds so real and something in Richard’s chest wakes up and flatters.

Lee doesn’t let go of his hand after.

 

It’s7 pm when everyone slowly gets up, the families with kids are already gone, Anna and her daughter have already said goodbye (Anna with a knowing smirk which, interestingly, made Lee blush) and out of the corner of his eye Richard sees Graham turning and he looks like he wants to come over and he really can’t have that.

He thinks. He’s had an amazing afternoon with Lee and after admiring him from the distance he has learned that he’s just as great when yyou get to know him. It all just makes it even worse, probably. The way he squints his eyes when he laughs or how he talks about secretly wanting to become a hippy farmer one day (which made Richard laugh and ask: “You want to stop selling porn?” and Lee had looks scandalized “That’s just a part time job, of course.” And then he’d told him that when he was younger he wanted to become an actor.)

To be honest, Richard is sure he’s fallen head over heels for Lee and he really wants it to work out.

“So,” he starts. “I’ve had a lovely afternoon and it was wonderful getting to know you.” Lee smiles warmly. “Uhm, would you like to come to my place and talk a bit more?” Richard curses himself. Smooth, Armitage, smooth.

Lee laughs. “You’re very sweet when you’re nervous.” And he leans forward and presses his mouth to Richard’s. “But less talking is alright for me, too.”

And Richard is sure, there’s a whole bunch of butterflies flying in the space between his lungs and heart.

 

Richard is late for work on Monday. Which is Lee’s fault entirely.

Lee and his chaotic morning routine and the way he lies in bed, the blanked draped innocently over his body, the white of the fabric in contrast to the warm tan of his skin and Richard who had been adjusting his tie had to stop and just look at him for a moment. And of course, when he leaned over the bed to kiss Lee’s nose that had peeked out between sheet and pillow, the bastard had reeched out and grasped him by his tie and dragged him back in. And one thing had led to another and now he’s half an hour late and his neck has this spectacular hickey that peeks out under his shirt.

It’s terrible, really, except that he couldn’t care less. And the butterflies in his chest spread their wings and touch his heart.


End file.
